Nanny or Grandma ?

As I walk my kids out in the city streets with their stroller, I look at all the other women toting kids on their weekday errands. First off, none of them are men, or stay at home dads like me. In fact, during the week, very few look like mothers. The bulk of them look like elder women, who are the child’s caretakers during the week.

So I came up with a game as I walk down the crowded streets, eyeing each elder caretaker. I call it ‘NANNY OR GRANDMA?’. It’s pretty simple. I just try to guess if the caretaker is the child’s nanny, or their grandma. You can usually tell if you see them interact. Grandma’s tend to be very warm yet strict with the kids. (They are also usually the same nationality, but that isn’t always the case). The nannies tend to be more checked out and disengaged with the kids. They don’t seem to have the kids totally covered up in winter clothes, they don’t talk to them as they walk, and they will have a ‘stop and chat’ with other caregivers, not even realizing the kid is ignored in the stroller for 10 or 15 minutes at a time.

It sort of makes me sad for the working mothers who have entrusted their children to the nanny, hoping for their kids to have a fun day, while the mother works to make money to pay for the half-assed substitute version of herself. I hate seeing a nanny pushing a sleeping kid in a stroller. My feeling is, if the child is sleeping in the stroller, then the nanny should have had that child at home. Serve the kids needs first, not your own. You’re getting paid for it.

Now, with Grandma, it’s different. Grandma’s spoil, and grandma’s love, and they don’t do it for a paycheck. I personally believe that a Grandma takes the child out to have a fun day, and if the kids pass out from exhaustion in the stroller, it’s because they had such a great morning, they couldn’t keep their eyes open.

I could be wrong. I never get to see what home life is like. There may be reasons they need to take napping kids out of the house on the cold city streets. I suppose if I was currently working, then we would to entrust a nanny, (our kids' Grandmas don’t live nearby) and hope that they are doing their best to represent our intentions with the kids. I guess I should consider my kids lucky, that at least they have a parent, even if it’s an overwhelmed dad, who is there for them on a daily basis. Who would have guessed.